Just When I Thought My Day Couldn’t Get Any Worse

It’s been a very exhausting day. I’ve been busy cleaning all the stuff I avoided all weekend. You know, bathrooms, closets, laundry, etc. Getting the kids to clean their rooms is a chore itself. I am TIRED. So finally, I decide to rest a little. I pour myself some koolaid and sit down, ready to read a book.

 Ok, it was a beer but for the sake of the story we’ll say it was koolaid, ok?

So anyways, my 7year old decides he wants to cuddle. I put the book down, take off my shoes. And ewwwwwwwwwww! MY FEET STINK! Ok maybe it’s not my feet. Maybe it’s these 20 year old pair of shoes I have on.

Why is it that I just don’t have it in me to get rid of them? They are ugly, they are worn, they hurt my freaken feet. And yet… I hang on to them? AND now they are making my feet stink.

Before you say it.. NO I don’t have athletes feet. They didn’t stink YESTERDAY. They only stink today. It’s the damn shoes. Maybe the shoes have athletes feet, I’ll give you that. Do you think if I spray them with fungus spray they will stop stinking?

My mom heard once that peeing on your feet will cure athletes foot. Should I pee on my shoes?

She also heard that if you put about a cap of bleach in some water and soak your feet, that will cure athletes foot. She even did it once, and it worked instantly.

Then her husband tried it and burned his feet badly. He had to go to the hospital and everything. True story, I can’t make this shit up. Turns out she thought he meant a BOTTLE of bleach.

That goes to show men just PRETEND to listen, but they really don’t. hahahah Just kidding. But not really.

Should I clean my stinky shoes with bleach? Should I use the whole bottle, or just a cap full? I mean, if I ruin them…. would that really be a bad thing?

I just don’t have the heart to get rid of my old, ugly, worn, stinky shoes. HEY shoes have feelings too, you know. And they have been there for me through thick and thin. Literally. What’s a girl to do?

Anyways, just when I forget about the smell, my son tells me, “Ewww mommy, you have hairy arms.” And he yanks one out.

Great. I have stinky feet and man arms. 🙂 hahahaha

Oh well. Thank goodness I’d waxed my Mexican mom mustache the day before. I’m ready for cuddling! Maybe I’ll wax my arms for next time? Nah. I can deal with man arms. I just can’t deal with stinky feet.

originally posted at Kick Off Your Shoes And Stay A While on Monday, September 4, 2006

Advertisements

4 responses to “Just When I Thought My Day Couldn’t Get Any Worse

  1. Take a chance and wash the shoes 😉

  2. somebodystolemytwinkie

    I went through my closet and threw out a bunch of shoes I’ve kept since 1902! LOL Some of them didn’t even have it’s pair. hahahaha but I kept them around “just in case the other one turned up”

  3. I am the same way with my jeans! My friggen muffin top will be exploding all over a pair of my younger day jeans but will my ass get rid of them? Nah! I always say, “There is a sweatshirt big enough to cover this muffin top up!” I’ll be so sad the day there isn’t a sweatshirt that big!

  4. Pingback: Somebody Stole My Twinkie’s Weblog

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s