It’s been a very exhausting day. I’ve been busy cleaning all the stuff I avoided all weekend. You know, bathrooms, closets, laundry, etc. Getting the kids to clean their rooms is a chore itself. I am TIRED. So finally, I decide to rest a little. I pour myself some koolaid and sit down, ready to read a book.
Ok, it was a beer but for the sake of the story we’ll say it was koolaid, ok?
So anyways, my 7year old decides he wants to cuddle. I put the book down, take off my shoes. And ewwwwwwwwwww! MY FEET STINK! Ok maybe it’s not my feet. Maybe it’s these 20 year old pair of shoes I have on.
Why is it that I just don’t have it in me to get rid of them? They are ugly, they are worn, they hurt my freaken feet. And yet… I hang on to them? AND now they are making my feet stink.
Before you say it.. NO I don’t have athletes feet. They didn’t stink YESTERDAY. They only stink today. It’s the damn shoes. Maybe the shoes have athletes feet, I’ll give you that. Do you think if I spray them with fungus spray they will stop stinking?
My mom heard once that peeing on your feet will cure athletes foot. Should I pee on my shoes?
She also heard that if you put about a cap of bleach in some water and soak your feet, that will cure athletes foot. She even did it once, and it worked instantly.
Then her husband tried it and burned his feet badly. He had to go to the hospital and everything. True story, I can’t make this shit up. Turns out she thought he meant a BOTTLE of bleach.
That goes to show men just PRETEND to listen, but they really don’t. hahahah Just kidding. But not really.
Should I clean my stinky shoes with bleach? Should I use the whole bottle, or just a cap full? I mean, if I ruin them…. would that really be a bad thing?
I just don’t have the heart to get rid of my old, ugly, worn, stinky shoes. HEY shoes have feelings too, you know. And they have been there for me through thick and thin. Literally. What’s a girl to do?
Anyways, just when I forget about the smell, my son tells me, “Ewww mommy, you have hairy arms.” And he yanks one out.
Great. I have stinky feet and man arms. 🙂 hahahaha
Oh well. Thank goodness I’d waxed my Mexican mom mustache the day before. I’m ready for cuddling! Maybe I’ll wax my arms for next time? Nah. I can deal with man arms. I just can’t deal with stinky feet.
originally posted at Kick Off Your Shoes And Stay A While on Monday, September 4, 2006