The Pizza Nazi (A Marketplace Series, part 1)

*the following blog entry was written 2 years ago and posted on Kick Off Your Shoes And Stay A While. If you’d like to read the comments attached to that, CLICK HERE.

Last Saturday was an interesting day for me. It started out great. But everything else after that was something out of the Twilight Zone. My sister and I had decided we were going to take our kids out to lunch at The Marketplace. We’d let them play by the fountain for a little while. Then we’d head to the Color Me Mine place and let them pick out a piece to color. Then we’d go to Russo’s and let them pick out a book. Sounds like a great day, right?

Of course we get to the pizza by the slice place, and the pizza looks awful. They only have pepperoni/olive, and pepperoni. My 7 yr old likes cheese. My 6 yr old likes pepperoni/mushroom. I asked the lady at the counter, “Do you have cheese?” She looks at me like I’m a dumb ass and says, “We don’t have any made and I don’t know how long it will take to make it.” Then gives me a cold hearted stare that tells me she is NOT willing to make any either and if I have a problem with it she’ll kick my ass and throw me out.

I turned for a second to ask my son if pepperoni would be okay, when I turned back around she was already helping the next customer, when she was done with him she asked the customer behind me to move up ahead. “That did NOT just happen,” I thought to myself. “No way did she just let two customers in front of me, did she?”

It was finally my turn again.

“Well then let me have a pepperoni/olive and a pepperoni slice and two small drinks.”

I get the good ol, “What are you, a freaken moron glare” and she says, “We only have one size” as she sticks two cups in front of me.

I started laughing. I mean, no way that just happened right? Ashton Kutcher… WHERE ARE YOU? Am I being PUNKED? Where are the cameras? Seriously… there is NO WAY the service can be THAT BAD right? Then again, I am really hungry and grumpy myself. So maybe I’m imagining all of this. My sister glares at me like I’m an idiot for laughing after what just happened. Or maybe I was embarrassing her, I don’t know.

I say, “What? It’s funny!”

She is up now. I move out of her way and she orders lasagna. She gets the same mean glare as the cashier says, “We’re out”

“What about raviolis, are you out of that?”

“Uggh, let me check.” She returns, “Yes, we’re out of that too.”

Frustrated, my sister says, “Just give me a Caesar salad.”

I laugh some more, this time hysterically. I mean I honestly feel like I’m in an episode of Seinfeld, and she’s the Pizza Nazi or something. To me, there is the typical bad service, then there is this… extremely hysterically-rude service. It’s amazing.

I can just picture it now, “NO PIZZA FOR YOU,” she would say, because I dared to ask about cheese pizza.No pizza for you!

My sister says, “She’s probably just upset because she hates to work weekends and she’s stuck here while we’re not.”

Oh well, we ate and moved on. I wasn’t going to let this woman ruin our day out with the kids. We go to the fountain and take some pictures of the kids. Then when they start to get carried away and almost fall in the fountain a few times, we say, “OK that’s enough, let’s go to the Color Me Mine place now.”

Part Two Of The Marketplace Series Coming Tomorrow!

2 responses to “The Pizza Nazi (A Marketplace Series, part 1)

  1. Gah! I probably would have turned on the Glamour effect, battered my eyes and cooed my requests to the girl.

  2. I should have sang her my order. In OPERA style! hee hee

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