Ain’t No Thing But A Chicken Wing!

I’d recently been shopping and had this totally cute outfit I was waiting for a chance to wear. It was dressy enough for work yet casual enough to go to Happy Hour afterwards. So one morning I got up, put on my totally cute and slightly sexy outfit and got ready for work.
Everything went perfectly. I looked HOT. My hair was just right. My makeup was fantastic! I’d had enough sleep the night before so I didn’t have those dreaded bags under my eyes. Do you ever have those days? Where your confidence levels are just where they need to be? Maybe even higher?
When I got to work I got a few compliments from my corworkers. So of course.. my ego started growing. I mean, I KNEW I looked good, but they just confirmed it.
Yeah, baby. I KNOW I got it going on! 
As I was leaving to run a few errands for work another coworker took one look at my hotness and said, “You look great today!”  
I thought, “Yeah I know…Eat your heart out! but responded with a quick “Thank you” and a huge smile.
Then I walked into the main office. There, the office girls were eating hot wings. They asked if I wanted one. I said, “SURE!” I made some small talk, ate my hot wing, picked up the deposit and their mail and took off to run my errands.
I went to drop off some contracts at a few of the local finance companies, and got some looks from the girls, and smiles from the guys. Oooooh yeah, you know you like what you see!
I went to the Post Office and I got a few of the same “looks.” from the girls.
Whatever bitches…you’re just jealous.
A few more stops and I started feeling uncomfortable. Damn! I like attention as much as the next girl, but this is ridiculous. The guys wouldn’t take their eyes off of me and had what I was convinced was a creepy stalker smile on their face.
Yuck. It was TOO MUCH attention.
And the girls…. I mean, could you beeeeeeeeee more obvious with the stares? MY GOD! They would automatically stop what they were doing, run to the closest girl and say something in their ear while staring at me and giggle.
I thought to myself.. Can somebody say, “JEALOUSY?”
“I need to tone down my sexiness for work,” I thought to myself. “I’m liable to get jumped by these haters. Or hit on by these dirty old men!” I was barely 21, you see, so anything over 25 was old. Yeah, I was that full of myself back then. 
My last stop was the bank and as soon as I walk in my teller friend pulls me to side quickly and says, … “OH MY GOD, Norma… do you realize you have a huge ass piece of chicken skin on your SHIRT?”
-Ego? Deflated…

5 responses to “Ain’t No Thing But A Chicken Wing!

  1. Hahaha! You and I are twins in this way!

  2. Which way? That we’re both dorks? Or that we’re both exceptionally full of ourselves? LOL

  3. Alas, no pics.. you’ll just have to take my word for it. I looked HOT.. in spite of the dead bird on my white v neck see through blouse! LOL

  4. This is hilarious… I think I have been there, usually with a brand new white shirt (or skirt)… oh, well… By now, everyone around is used to my usual clumsiness…

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