I Swear I’m NOT a Pervert

Do you ever have embarrassing moments that are so funny you just have to share them over and over and OVER… no matter how silly they make YOU sound? Well, this is NOT one of them. (well, at least not of ME.)
But it’s still funny and I love repeating it.

We went to the movies with Mexican Rambo and G.I. Jane. This rarely happens since I hate going to the movie theater…but somehow I got talked into it. Mr. Twinkie had to use the restroom and we were running a bit sooo…..

We decided I’d get in the concessions line, while he handled his business. I’m behind this lady and her date. A few other people are in front of them.

Mr Twinkie went to the restroom. I got out of line to look at a poster on the wall. Are you following me, here?

He’s back from the restroom, got back IN line, and starts to rub this ladie’s shoulder. She assumes it’s HER man so she enjoys it for a bit.

(OMG I am laughing my ass off as I type this)

She then finally looks back …smiling… appreciative of the shoulder rub I’m sure!

She looks at Mr. Twinkie …

Her expression changes…

and she tells him, “HEY! What are you doing?”

And he’s like….


”OMG… I am soooo sorry. I thought you were my wife!” and he’s mortified.

She somehow doesn’t look convinced? … and then just for good measure he says, “I SWEAR! I’m not a pervert. I swear!”…. He looks at me with an expression on his face that clearly says, “help me out here, babe!”

I am laughing my ass off this whole time. From the time I saw him get back in line, to the waiting to see what she would do. EVERYTHING. The whole time!
I’m laughing sooooo hard I can’t speak. Therefore, I can’t tell her that YES in fact he is telling the truth, and it’s my fault he was rubbing on her, because I was IN line a second before that.. then got OUT of line to look at that poster.

I continue laughing the rest of the time we’re in line until my stomach hurts.

… next up…. Bite me. An embarrassing story about ME!


2 responses to “I Swear I’m NOT a Pervert

  1. You’re evil… not really. This is hilarious. I’ll have to tell you sometime my story of hitting on a cop so drunk, that I did no notice he was a cop.

  2. OMG!!! Did you get busted? LOL

    I wasn’t trying to be evil.. I just could NOT stop laughing. MY stomache hurt.

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