Innapropriate Questions

Man: Can I ask you something and you promise not to get mad?

Me: Sure!

Man: I’ve been staring at you from across the room for a while and I was just wondering….

Me: *gulp!! Shifts nervously…..

Man: I noticed you’re wearing a loose fitting shirt… is it the shirt?

Me: *confused and wondering where this is leading…

Man: Or are you pregnant?

Me: relieved because she wasn’t sure where exactly this conversation was leading and that question is better than all the alternatives that were running through my mind!

*laugh hysterically and say, “Ah yes.. the shirt. Well you see, too many pepsi’s and Snickers later.. I wear the shirt to hide the big belly. So YES the shirt is for a reason. But NO it’s not the reason you thought.

Man: laughs…. Then says, “Well good for you!” (whatever that means!)

Me: I CAN’T STOP LAUGHING. I mean first of all, who asks that? And secondly why is NOT being pregnant “good for me?” Well, wait… don’t answer that. I know why it’s good for me to NOT be pregnant. The whole miserable 9 months, the labor pain, etc.

Anyways, the innapropriateness of his question cracked me the hell up. Stuff like that is GREAT! Classic. Shocking! Incredibly hilarious.


8 responses to “Innapropriate Questions

  1. Seriously, who the hell asks another person this? My hairdresser, whom I see every month and a half, is a little on the heavy side and one day I came in and her stomach was a bit bigger and it looked like she was prego but it could have been that she gained weight. So like a NORMAL person, I didn’t say anything or ask her. I just waited until she mentioned it! GAH! And this is someone that I know! How hard is that? But you took this with great grace. I would have said, “Seriously? WHO ARE YOU?”

  2. Yes, this one is certainly destined to become a classic to be repeated for years to come. Now, if this guy comes and asks this to someone he doesn’t know, can you imagine the things he’ll to those that are acquaintances as a minimum? maybe he doesn’t have friends.

  3. hahaha…. this “guy” was an older gentleman. I think late 60’s… so I’m assuming he SHOULD know better. I guess not? LOL

  4. Oh man, you handled this wayyyyy better than I would have. Someone asked me that once when I was wearing a hippie shirt (I was about 95 lbs at the time, so I’m still unclear why) and I almost burst into tears.

    “For the record, I can’t even HAVE a baby! So fuck you!!!” *proceeds to Ugly Cry*

    Now almost everything I own is tight and black. It’s a good thing I’m so secure with myself.

  5. haha… well to his defense.. I have sort of a beer gut. Besides.. I just could NOT stop laughing. I was shocked. I mean geezuz.. REALLY? I felt like I was on candid camera or something.

    I felt like saying…”Ashton Kutcher? Where are you? Come out from where you’re hiding!! Am I being punked?” hahahaha

  6. Um. No one is allowed to ask that question. Ever. IF you don’t know, you’re not supposed to.

  7. That is crazy!

  8. I know right? It’s soooi bad it’s funny. Of course I could just be delirious as a defense mechanism and should be crying right now

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