Joke’s On Me

In pain, scared and not knowing what to expect Twinkie calls her friends to be there at her side during this time of joy. Oh painful, painful joy!

 

She remembered that they made her PROMISE to call when she was going into labor. They wanted to be there for her. They wouldn’t miss it for the world.

 

She makes the first phone call, “Hey Dee! I’m in the hospital. I’m having the baby!”

 

Dee struggles to make sense of the words. It’s the middle of the night and she herself has been up with her own baby.

 

“Not funny, Twinkie!” she scowls and goes back to bed.

 

Twinkie is shocked with her reaction and thinks clearly there must be some mistake? She dials again, “Dee, it’s Twinkie. I realize it’s the middle of the night but I just wanted you to know I’m in the hospital. I’m gonna have my baby!”

 

CLICK. Another hang up. Twinkie gets a contraction and doesn’t have time to think about what just happened.

 

After the pain subsides she calls Goocher, her other childhood best friend, who always was in on the pact to be on the call list when Baby Twinkie was coming into this world.

 

“Goocher! I’m in….” Twinkie doesn’t have time to finish her sentence before she’s interrupted by Gooch.

 

“FUCK YOU BITCH. IT’S NOT FUNNY!” Gooch says. And she hangs up.

 

“OK What the fuck just happened?” Twinkie starts to get annoyed. “Those bitches made me SWEAR to call their asses when I went into labor and now they’re treating me like THIS?”

 

She doesn’t have time to finish her sentence before another contraction hits her. The pain is getting worse and harder to bear. She hopes it means it’s time. A few hours later, Baby Twinkie is born.

 

The excitement, the joy! Overwhelming feelings of happiness and relief that her boy is healthy and beautiful, just beautiful override any thoughts of her two best friends that were so rude to her hours before. She still didn’t understand it but there was no time to try to make sense of it. And it didn’t matter anyways.

 

She was a mom. A MOM. To a baby. WOW!

 

A few hours later, Dee and Goocher show up with a big balloon bouquet, a box of bubble gum cigars and a thousand apologies.

 

“Twinkie! We are soooo sorry we didn’t believe you. See Gooch and I had actually talked a few days ago and said to ourselves, ‘I’ll bet you ANYTHING Twinkie plays an APRIL FOOL joke on us and calls us and tells us she’s in labor.’ So when you did.. we thought it was just a JOKE!”

 

I started laughing and laughing at the realization that I just gave birth to an April Fool’s baby. And laughing even more when thinking back to the phone calls and their reactions. It all made sense now. AND they felt soooo bad that they woke up early in the morning, called the hospital to verify that a Twinkie WAS in fact admitted to the hospital the night before.

 

Once they verified I wasn’t playing a prank on them they felt sooo bad they went out and bought me the balloons. They made a big sign welcoming baby Twinkie and rode around town honking and screaming the birth announcement to anybody who would listen.

 

Now, readers, you might think this is a heck of a way to say you’re sorry. Don’t be fooled. That’s how we roll. We’re crazy like that. And they would have done that anyways.

 

I don’t know how many times and to how many people we’ve retold that story and it just gets funnier every time. I think by now, all of America knows it.

 

Anyways, Happy Birthday Baby Twinkie! I love you, my little April Fools baby!

shown above is Dee, Teen Twinkie at his 8th grade graduation party and Gooch.

My April Fools Baby is all growed up! (yes that misspell was on purpose)

My April Fools Baby is all growed up! (yes that misspell was on purpose)

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17 responses to “Joke’s On Me

  1. THAT IS FREAKING FANTASTIC!!!! I think it’s the best joke ever!

  2. heeeeee… those bitches. LOL kidding. sorta. they know I love them!

  3. Twinkie!! this is a really great story, fantastic. Happy Birthday to baby (19!) Twinkie!

  4. Thanks Titania! I can’t believe I’m old enough to have a 19 year old. Wow. I guess I better start acting my age soon, hu? hehehe

  5. HAHAHA! That cracked my shit up!!! Your son is handsome!! What a little cutie patootie!!! Happy Birthday Twink’s boy!

    We will never act our age, Twinks, NEVER! Let’s Twinkie-Pinkie swear to act immature together forever and ever!

    *Hold out pinkie to Twinks*

  6. Yayyy! What an awesome story. Happy Birthday, (Not So) Baby Twinkie!

  7. For the record, I hate April Fool’s Day.

    I love your special April Fool’s story, Twinkie… and I recognize the art in your banner. VERY cool!

  8. Happy birthday, April Fool!

  9. Yes Julie! It’s the artwork I bought from Jen Raven! I took a picture of it and put it up because I LOVE it. It’s my first real art I’ve ever bought and I’m proud of it.

    Thank you Lisslo! I’m gonna send him the link later so he can read all his birthday wishes!

  10. Another April Fool’s baby, eh? Today is also my mom’s birthday, as well as that of my twin daughters, who are 22 today.

  11. YAY for April Fools babies, Karl!!!

  12. Happy Birthday to your baby Twinkie! My baby boy is 6 months tomorrow, and I’m shedding a tear at the thought of how 19 years later I’ll be wondering where the time has gone!!!

  13. This was so great. So great. Here’s wishing Happy Birthday to your son!

  14. Thanks f.b…..
    HEY can anybody tell me how to make my font bigger? I’m new to wordpress and still figuring stuff out.

  15. Oh yeah, that brought a good laugh… I’d be lording it over my friends EVERY April – – – if I had a) a baby making apparatus, b) a baby and c) was crazy enough to call my friends during, you know, the whole process

  16. Funny stuff! I love it! Happy Bday to your son.

  17. [F]oxy: you should do it anyways because it would be even funnier when you catch them off guard at like.. 3:00am to tell them you’re having a baby. tee hee.

    Karen: thanks! My baby boy comes home today and we’re grilling some steaks for his family bday dinner. 🙂 Mommy is excited!

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