Parenting (non) Advice

As parents, if there is ONE lesson we need to learn from the get-go is: You will NEVER know everything about your kids lives. You will NOT be able to stop them from making mistakes no matter how hard you try. And you should NEVER assume you know what they do when you’re not around.

Having said that, in defense of parents everywhere, I guess it’s sorta one of those lessons you learn AFTER your kids are all grown up? I don’t know? OR in very RARE cases with some parents, it’s something you just KNOW all along and you deal with it and work around it the best you can.

Of course.. then there is the ones that think they KNOW EVERYTHING there is to know about their kids lives.

“Little Timmy tells me EVERYTHING” they say. And they actually believe it.

They think they control their children and they think their kids are perfect. They don’t allow their kids to go anywhere.

They choose their friends according to what they think are “good families” or according to what social standing they keep in school and dismiss the ones they don’t think fit their kids social circles as “bad kids.”

They assume their kids don’t cuss, they don’t like boys or girls yet.

“Oh Little Timmy isn’t interested in all that yet. Right now he’s just focusing on sports.” they think.

They don’t do drugs. The don’t cut class. They don’t….

Well, I mean. You get the idea, right?

But guess what? Your kid DOES cuss. Or has at least one or two friends that do.

Your kid DOES have a crush. In fact, guess what? They have a boy/girlfriend.

And they have tried smoking a cigarette. Or pot. Or drank a beer. Or has at least one or two friends that have.

And they talk to that forbidden friend when you’re not around. Or even better, they have that forbidden boy/girlfriend.

And everybody knows about it except for you. Because YOU? You choose to keep your head in the sand. You choose to think that you’re soooo controlling over your kids life that they don’t have a chance even to BREATHE without asking you permission to.

And guess what? That cell phone you bought them? So that you could keep better tabs on them? They use it to make secret plans with their friends. They use it so they can text their secret boy/girlfriends. They use it so they can confide in their best friends how much they HATE you for being so controlling.

The child you think is soooo perfect? He’s probably hiding behind some bushes with his girl bestie. You know the one? The one you trust him with because they’ve been besties since they were born? And guess what? She’s letting him feel her boobs.

Not just that but guess what they did last week? They smoked out just to “try it.” then he asked if she wants to touch his you-know-whattie.

But don’t worry, mom of the girl bestie. Your daughter?She says no. She likes girls.

Moral of the story?

Here, the parents thinks their kids are perfect. They do no wrong. He’s smart, wise for his age. She has good judgment. But guess what? He’s a kid. He’s going to try things. He’s going to be interested in girls and curious to know what a boobie feels like.

It happens. It’s not the end of the world. Get over yourself.

I’m by NO means trying to act like I know everything. Or that my own kids are perfect. Or that I know how to handle situations better than you. In fact, I’m here to share with you my own parenting mistakes and how naïve I was.

I thought I knew everything about my kids. I thought I controlled them enough to where I knew exactly what they were doing. Exactly who they were hanging out with. Exactly what they would try and wouldn’t try.

And guess what?

I was wrong.

My kids made their mistakes. They learned from them (I hope) and they are still the best kids. EVER. And I love them with all of my heart. I think that’s key. I think that no matter what your parenting techniques are as long the constant is that you love your kids NO MATTER what mistakes they make everything will turn out ok. In the end, when all is said and done that’s what is going to make the difference.

LOVE YOUR KIDS.

LET THEM KNOW YOU LOVE T HEM ALL THE TIME.

Wether you’re the controlling parent, or the naive parent, or the “cool” parent or the “involved” parent, or the “absent parent” just LOVE YOUR CHILD. Let them KNOW that you love them.

And if they feel it? If they believe it? Everything else will fall into place.

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4 responses to “Parenting (non) Advice

  1. Norms..first let me say thank you for always making me think. (And believe me, these days, that is NOT an easy task!!!!) Second, let me say that you are just drop-dead gorgeous. I mean it! Every time I look at your photo on Mas I think the same thing…DAMN! And third, fabulous post and you are CORRECT!!!!!!! Love you!!!

  2. Awww thanks Justine…
    BTW… I can’t believe your baby is already 6 months old. I mean.. didn’t you just have him YESTERDAY????? Whoa!

  3. yes! I think some parents are so narrow-minded or afraid of facing the fact that their kids have grown up, that they just don’t realise their girls might be having sex and might end up pregnant if they don’t talk to then once and again and tell them how to take care of things, or well, their boys, or stuff like pot, yes…great post indeed…I llike the fact that you’re a wise mother.

  4. I don’t know about wise. LOL but definitley more aware? Or open minded?

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