Last Friday was a weird day for me.
Everything that could have gone wrong, went wrong. Of course, weird things ALWAYS happen to me so you could probably say that yesterday was a typical day in the life of Twinkie. So I won’t bore you with the details.
I’ll just say my day consisted of a broken heel, a ripped slip/skirt (which is almost as bad as a STINKY PURSE) , a bad hair day (which is better than a hairy arm day), and NO PARKING within a three block radius for the restaurant when I volunteered to pick up lunch for a coworker.
Oh and a sinus headache.
What I will share with you is a tid bit that I think you will appreciate since I’m on a public restroom ranting roll.
I’m at a public restroom and I have to go pee soooooo bad. It’s probably about my gazillionth time peeing because I’ve drank a lot of water throughout the day. so of course my bladder felt like a woman who is a size 12 trying to fit into a 9. It was about to burst at the seams.
I had to pee sooooo bad that I almost knocked over a lady on my way to the restroom. Of course I’m just walking REALLY REALLY fast and I’m not paying much attention to where I’m walking.
So it’s no surprise what happens next. I turned the corner way too fast and way too soon and hit my left arm/elbow on the restroom doorway. OUCH. It hurts so bad but I can’t stop, right?! I have to sit on that toilet or I’m gonna pee my already ripped skirt.
When I finally sit I allow myself to feel the pain and exclaim, “Owwwwwie” then a few more, “OW OW OW…… moan, groan, moan groan.” Then I hear it. Someone is at the door, but they are not coming in. I sit there and think to myself, “Oh MY God! I hope they are not thinking what I THINK they are thinking!”
What do you think I think they were thinking? Well, put yourself on the other side of that door and think about it for a second! Yeah! That’s what I’d be thinking too.