Today marks the first day of Operation Donut:
Day one: I was craving a Starbucks first thing this morning, but changed my mind. Not only could I NOT afford it… BUT it’s a gazillion calories and I’d rather save them for something good. Like.. ummm.. LUNCH!
Then I almost made myself a café con leche but was too lazy. Well, that and we only have WHOLE milk at home which I can’t stand. It’s too thick and I get this weird, filmy taste in the back of my throat when I drink. Which incidentally? Is the same reason I don’t like ice cream.
Anyways, I get to work and become overwhelmed with this sudden desire to eat something sweet with my black coffee. At first I fight it and tell myself NO, TWINKIE!! Don’t do it. You’re self sabotaging. STOP! You’re never gonna get rid of that ponykeg gut if you keep giving in.
A few minutes later I forget and without thinking I grab three lemon crème cookies and bite into one. The minute I do? I remind myself… SELF SABOTAGE don’t do it!
Of course the self sado masochists in me decides, fuck it. Eat the cookie Norma, you can always make up for it in a different way. Swim more laps tonight. Or eat less lunch. Yeah, in other words, SUFFER later. Instead of having the chinese food you wanted for lunch, you can eat a salad. Or something.
The happy person in me decides to throw away the cookie. It’s not worth sacrificing my lunch and it’s definitely NOT worth doing extra laps in the pool. I mean, HELLO! We all know what happened last time I tried to push myself to do more laps in the pool, right?
So here I sit. Hungry. At 10:00 am. The cookie in the trash is still calling out my name.
I mean HEY!! Having a ponykeg is not such a bad thing, right? In fact, big bellies have many GREAT uses!
It’s saying, “Norrrrmmmmmaaaa…. .I’m right here! Don’t ignore me. You know you want me. Come on… the trash can is clean. It’s ok if you dig me out and eat me. Come on! You know you soooo want to!”
But my stomach is yelling, “don’t do it Norma! You’re starving. Don’t ruin your lunch calories just for three cookies that aren’t even gonna fill you up. Do you really wanna be able to open a beer with your BIG belly button?”
So I’m not. But I think to myself, “I wonder if the voice in my stomach would feel the same if she knew I also have Chile and Lime “Sabrositos” in my left hand drawer?”